Hugh: British person who is very good at faking American accent.
Madonna: American who sucks ass at faking British accent.
Hugh: Very talented at acting (both comedy and drama) music, singing, and can even dance.
Madonna: Acting is so bad even her fans don't bother going to her movies, can't play any musical instrument, sings like yappy little dog and dance ability consists largely of spastic flapping and twitching with crotch grabs.
Hugh: notoriously modest.
Madonna: massive ego even by showbiz standards.
Hugh: turns me on no end.
Madonna: makes celibacy look attractive to me.
Probably a bunch of Madonna fans are gonna want to lynch me after this but i don't care. :P