February 23rd, 2009

Hugh Blue Eyes

(no subject)

I Am Not The Walrus

(Setting: the bar in a fancy hotel. House, Wilson and Chase walk in. House looks entertained, Wilson is poker faced and Chase looks very nervous. Several furries are partying at the other end of the bar.)
Wilson: I had no idea there was a furry convention at the same weekend and hotel as the medical conference!
House: Thank you, Dr. Exposition. At least it gave Chocolate Frapp someone to hang out with during the lectures. Speaking of-- (he waves at CF, who is partying with the furs) Get over here, I'm the one who paid for the hotel room!
CF: (to furs) See you later, guys, those are the doctors I was telling you about. (hugs and waves from furs, she walks over to the table, squeezes House's shoulder and sits down. A waiter walks over.)
Waiter: What can I get you?
House: Two shots of MacAllan's twelve year old.
CF: How'd you know I was in the mood for a shot of whisky?
House: Oh, do you want one too?
Chase: Glass of Cabernet, please. (House snickers) Oh, give me a break, House, not all of us Aussies drink Foster's all the damn time any more than all Americans drink Bud.
CF: Ewwuw, piss beer! I'd rather have a Scrimshaw.
House: A beer and a shot sounds pretty decent, Chocolate, I think I'll join you. Make that three shots of MacAllan's, two Scrimshaws, glass of Cab for the Aussie wimp and Wilson's the partridge in a pear cider, apparently.
Waiter: I'm not sure we have pear cider, sir, I can check with Mr. Dalliard--
Wilson: That's...my friend's strange sense of humor, I'll have a gin and tonic. (waiter leaves) House, take it easy on the drinking this weekend, will you, you're the primary reason this conference switched to here from the hotel it was at last year!
CF: Why, what'd he do last year? (to House, teasingly) You naughty man.
House: Don't push me for an answer to that or I'm not going to get naughty with you this weekend. (CF pouts.)
Chase: God, we should have gone to some other bar.
House: This one seems OK to me-- (suddenly realizing) Chase, you're scared of THESE guys?! (laughing uproariously; Chase looks pissed off and embarrassed) What, were you ravaged by a herd of My Little Ponies as a child?!
Chase: Shut up, House. Let's just get dinner and then the three of you can go shag eachother silly as usual.
House, Wilson and CF in unison: Jealous.

(ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER)

CF: Mmmm, that was a great dinner. Thank you.
Chase: I'm out of here. (leaves hurriedly)
House: Let's all go back to the suite for some dessert. (grins devilishly)
Wilson: House, we just had cake and (catches on) ohhh! (wink) You two start without me, I'll catch up in a little while.
(House and CF leave arm in arm. A fox furry walks up to Wilson's table.)
Fox: Hey, Wilson, your raccoon suit get damaged?
Wilson: I thought this was NEXT weekend!
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