August 25th, 2009

Hugh Blue Eyes

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Insurance and Insolence
Chapter 3

Blackadder was just sitting down in the cafeteria with some soup and a salad when Melchett walked up to him. "I just got a page from Dr. Cameron, she says she saw something in the lab she wants us to take a look at."
"What's that ridiculous little strumpet want now? She probably feels sorry for some bacteria," Blackadder grumbled.
When they entered the lab, Cameron said, "Oh, good, I'm glad you're here. I've never seen anything like this, we had to remove a non-functioning kidney from a patient and look how shrunken it is," and she showed them a kidney than was less than an inch long.
"What on earth?!" Blackadder frowned. "Do you know the surgeon who removed this?"
"I know him very well, I'm married to him," Cameron replied. "Let's go see what he has to say about it."
"Thoroughly bizarre anomaly," said Blackadder, shaking his head.
"It is odd to see a kidney that small," added Melchett.
"I meant her husband, I wouldn't have guessed I'd ever meet an articulate Australian," Blackadder snarked.
Chase was none too keen on Blackadder either; when he saw him walking towards him his first thought was, "Oh, God, this guy's a bigger fucknuckle than House is," but he didn't say this out loud. "Yeah, I removed that from the patient in room 8401, really strange, I've seen atrophied organs before but not like that."
Cuddy, Wilson and Foreman passed them in the hallway.
Foreman stared at the kidney. "I've seen plenty of messed up kidneys but this is new, maybe it's some sort of previously unknown phenomenon."
Cuddy commented, "If any doctor could figure this out, I'd be impressed. VERY impressed." She looked aroused for some reason, which didn't escape Blackadder's notice.
Wilson said, "House specializes in nephrology, let's go ask him."
"All right."
When they got to House's office, he looked bored and impatient until they told him about the kidney. "Ooo, let me see." He put down his game boy.
He peered at it in its petri dish for a moment or two, then, with a lightning move of his arm, grabbed it, threw it up in the air, caught it in his mouth and swallowed it.
Blackadder's jaw dropped.
Everyone else burst into laughter, and Blackadder realized what it was. He scowled and put his hand over his eyes. "A bean." Pause. "Oh, DAMN."
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