June 14th, 2010

Bertie's Mouth

(no subject)

Long ass post is long so I will break it up into chunks.

More than one person has asked me what I'd like to see happen on House so here goes.


1. By definition, fanfic is stuff you'd like to see happen on the show, so all of my House fic, even the stuff I know Fox would never actually have the nards to put on like the Blackadder crossover.

2. somebody going out on the roof and catching him asleep sunbathing naked while playing "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode on his boom box. Later in the same eppie, CGI "Fantastic Voyage" sequence like they have on the show depicting various body functions. this one is depicting a male orgasm while the Johnny Cash version of PJ is playing in the background. Pull back to reveal House doing an "O" face.

3. CSI crossover w/ the CSI guys catching the guy who shot House.

4. CSI crossover w/ the following sequence, Grissom (yes I know he's not on the show anymore, I miss him!) and one of the other guys walking through some casino talking about bacteria, they walk by a poker table, one of the players has a cane slung over the back of the chair, he turns around, it's House, he throws in some relevant comment regarding the bacteria
Grissom: (polite, casual) Hi, Greg.
House: (also polite, surprisingly) Oh, hey, Gil.
end scene, no cutesy stuff!

5. Cameron joins Doctors Without Borders. (she so would) she periodically writes letters to the other characters and stays on the show in that context.

6. House/Catherine Willows

7. House/Stella Buonasera

8. House/Abby the goth chick from NCIS (only character on that show I find interesting.)

9. Guy Who Shot House and Tritter rolling around in the street fighting in a very Bruce Willis and Ving Rhames in Pulp Fiction sort of way. They both get run over and squished into anchovy paste by Vogler, who has gone insane and then drives the car off the cliff a la Thelma and Louise. The car lands on 13.

10. Cameron comes back.

11. Cuddy acting more like she did in Seasons 1-3

12. Wilson being a better friend to House, god damn it!

13. general H/W slash with no fake outs

14. House and Wilson getting into the med pot and fucking like bunny rabbits on Viagra

15. House listening to Distorted View and laughing his ass off

16. House reading the Placebo Journal (he so would!!)

17. House visiting the Mutter Museum (he'd love it)

18. Emeriin's tentacle Wilson story

19. more "Chinese food and laughing" type scenes

20. House having some other friends

21. Chase getting another girlfriend (i think he needs one)

22. Foreman being supportive and House actually taking it to heart

23. Jeeves and Bertie in jokes

24. Stephen Fry being the POTW

25. Stephen Fry playing a stupid doctor

(to be continued)
  • Current Music
    Biddu Orchestra
Bertie's Mouth

(no subject)

26. Stephen Fry as a doctor who's smarter than House

27. Stephen Fry as a nice polite doctor...

28....who gets so fed up with House that he clocks him (someone actually told SF this one through twitter and he was apparently highly amused by the idea. WOOOO!)

29. Stephen Fry as a doctor who's even ruder than House

30. Stephen Colbert as the POTW. Completely in character.

31. Michael Palin.

32. Emma Thompson.

33. Alan Rickman.

34. House gets a clinic patient, a punk rock guy who's epileptic and needs more of his anti-seizure meds. He is confused because he recently gave him some. The guy explains that he has a girlfriend who hides his meds because she likes seizure+ tongue stud+ him going down on her.

35. "It's Never Lupus, Mr. Bean"

36. House dreaming or fantasizing doing Christopher Walken dance sequence to "Weapon of Choice" through hospital halls complete with Crouching Tiger floating part

37. scene of House riding bike while pissed off or upset to "Epic" by Faith No More

38. House laughing at Richard Cheese songs

39. House playing "Rhapsody on Blue" on piano

40. "Tapioca Tundra"

41. House in love with dwarf mom

42. "Ultra Twist" by the Cramps

43. "I Know What You're Doing" by Dionne Farris in some context with House spying on Wilson

44. Any song by Iggy Pop. especially "Passenger"

45. "Pink" by Aerosmith to House sex scene

46. "Are You Gonna Go My Way"

47. "Are You Experienced?" some patient playing it in their room and House entertained

48. "Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes"

49. ABOFAL in jokes even if Stephen's not there

50. "Sympathy for the Warhols" background music to House going nuts

to be continued
  • Current Music
    Biddu Orchestra
Bertie's Mouth

(no subject)

51. Sweet Dreams Are Made of Seven Nation Army

52. alternate scenario-- Amber didn't die, she got drunk at the bar which House did not exactly discourage, she started dancing on top of the bar to the Single Ladies Choice mashup while House took pictures

53. "Strawberry Letter 23"

54. "Dear Doctor" by the Rolling Stones (why hasn't this song already been used on the show?)

55. "Flaming Desire" by Bill Nelson used in club scene

56. "Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queen

57. "Gomer Pyle is God" video being watched on TV by House

58. "How Soon is Now" sex scene

59. "Jackie" by Bossa Nostra used during depressed House scene

60. "Kiss Him Goodbye" group of people including House taunting someone using that song. House should be harmonizing.

61. "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down House stressed out scene

62. "Life is a Highway" House and Wilson roadtrip scene

63. "Lightning Strikes the Postman" scene with something weird happening

64. "Cantaloop Flip Fantasia"

65. Xmas eppie where House starts playing that Vince Guaraldi Charlie Brown music and Wilson and a bunch of other people start doing the dance moves. you know the ones I mean.

66. "Very Best Years" by the grays. House trying to recover and Wilson or somebody being supportive

67. "Virtual Insanity"

68. "Voodoo Child" sex scene

69. me singing "Blue Eyes" by Elton John to House

70. "Brazasia" House on vacation someplace tropical. Actually having a good time.

71. House watching Beavis and Butthead on TV

72. "No Myth"

73. No One Takes Your Freedom

74. someone putting a heart with GH+JW on the whiteboard and House yelling "who wrote that?!"

75. House watching Python Gumby Surgeon sketch

  • Current Music
    Biddu Orchestra
Bertie's Mouth

(no subject)

76. Wilson/Cuddy in FWB type relationship

77. House coming in bringing donuts and acting all like Mr. Happy after he's had sex with me. Chase goes "who are you and what have you done with House?" Foreman makes some comment about large sprinkles on the donuts actually being pills.

78. me being House's girlfriend

79. or just his friend

80. somebody saying "It's not a tumor" in an Ah-nuld voice

81. me and House kissing and someone making an annoyed comment, House goes, "Ooo, I forgot there was a city ordinance against cripples and fat people kissing in public!"

82. in response to some comment made about "damaged people". "Everybody's damaged."

83. House referring to some procedure: "This won't hurt--me."

84. "I love kids, I had two for lunch."

85. someone using the word "ironic" wrong and House saying it's supposed to mean some sort of juxtaposition of opposites

86. TPTB need to get it through their heads that sex and love are not terrible things that only cause trouble.

87. "Opposites only attract if you're talking about magnets."

88. "That which does not kill me can still fuck me up." (this should actually be the motto of the smegging show, IMHO)

90. "Bad Case of Loving You"

91. "Oh, Mr. Belpit, your legs are so swollen."

92. "Mr. Pharmacist" by the Other Half

93. "I'll just test your reflexes." (flashes patient)

94. Cuddy telling House to shave because some mucketymucks are coming to the hospital. House looks the same as usual when they show up.
Cuddy: I thought I told you to shave!
House: I did shave! Oh, you mean my face?

95. more scenes with Foreman and kids. he seems to be good with kids.

96. POTW is an artist and draws House really nicely.

97. we need to see Wilson's family. especially his mentally ill brother.

98. in my fic "Infarction-tastic! the House musical, during the "Mr. Blue Sky" sequence where House and my self-insert have the dialogue mocking the "Walking On Broken Glass" video, Wilson and the POTW should have been doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance.

99. in my fic "Iggy Pop Go The Zombies", Wilson should have shot 13 in the head when he mistook her for a zombie.

100. the last eppie should have a scene near the end set in the future with a "where are they now?" theme...

101.....and then the whole thing turns out to have been Bertie Wooster's very long nightmare.
  • Current Music
    Biddu Orchestra