1. You have the opportunity to live anywhere in the world you want. You will have a modest place to live and won't have to pay utilities, and you will receive a monthly stipend, based on the cost of living for the area, that pays for food and leaves you with enough money left over for some fun stuff. Where do you want to live?
haha. This is actually a slight improvement over my current situation because I don't make enough money to support myself and have to pay utilities, but my apartment is modest and I live in a place I love already. I'd pick either of two places I went on vacation and absolutely love, Hawaii or Las Vegas.
2. You can change one thing about yourself, either physical or characteristic. What do you change?
my entire appearance.
3. What is your funniest memory?
I have had about a zillion very funny memories, there's no way I could only pick one. It helps that I've seen about a million awesome comedy performances, live as well as in movies and TV.
4. What event in your life, if anything, would you do differently if you could?
easy. not gotten involved with my abusive ex.
5. Describe your ideal day, fantasy or not.
I'm going to get very fangirly here. my ideal day would be spent with Hugh Laurie. I would spend most of the morning in conversation and listening to him play music, then take him over to this great place in SF I know of for heroes for lunch, eat them in this beautiful park nearby, then ride around on his motorcycle showing him my favorite places in the bay all afternoon. In the evening we'd go back to my place, I'd introduce him to a bunch of my awesome friends, and make a great dinner while everybody talks and laughs and thoroughly enjoys themselves and my roomie plays music. (He really should work in a club. he's incredibly good at gauging the mood of a crowd and picking just the right music.) then after everybody's had a great time, Hugh and I go somewhere a bit more private and shag like crazed bonobos.
and the Proust question thing: (this is the only interesting thing Proust wrote IMHO)
1. What is your favorite word?: love
2. What is your least favorite word?: cunt
3. What turns you on?: Hugh Laurie, silk, chocolate, Brazilian jazz
4. What turns you off?: abusiveness, being patronized, condescended to, treated like an idiot (I'm copying my sweet friend hughville's answer here because I totally agree with her)
5. What sound or noise do you love?: damn near any song the Beatles did
6. What sound or noise do you hate?: gum cracking
7. What is your favorite curse word?: fuck, because it's the only curse word that means something fun
8. What profession would you like to attempt?: Writing, singing, stand up comedy
9. What profession would you not like to do?: Anything that would require me spending any time around Donald Trump.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?: "I don't blame you for not believing in me, I didn't exactly make it easy. Come on over here, I want John Lennon and Oscar Wilde to meet you."