Yesterday I heard the "everybody is attractive to somebody" lecture AGAIN. It wasn't directed at me personally and I know people who say it mean well but the only men who ever found me attractive were insane homeless guys. I wish I could just cut the part of my mind off that wants romantic love and sex and just throw it away. My life would be so much easier if i could just be content with what I have and not feel what I feel. I actually envy asexual people. Maybe a lot of people think they're weird but at least they don't go through life wanting something they can't have. I got together with my mean ex and stayed with him for too long out of DESPERATION. I wish I could feel about a romantic relationship the way I feel about cell phones, everyone else has one but I don't give a shit about ever having one. At least i have lots of friends including a very kind best friend who used to be my boyfriend until he realized he was more into guys. That's not really anybody's fault and I certainly don't resent him for it, nor do i feel any resentment towards anyone in a good relationship. I want my friends to be happy. I NEVER want to be one of those bitter people who can't stand seeing a happy couple.