I For an I
I wound up having to have surgery on my kidney but they didn't have to take it out. The good news is I'm getting out of the hospital and going home today. The bad news is I still have to be in a wheelchair after I go home but only for a couple of days. This isn't my first time in a wheelchair but it is my first time in one with a joystick and a motor rather than one that has to be pushed by human power. I was riding it up and down the hospital corridors like crazy yesterday and I think I annoyed some people but that's their problem, I was having fun and not hurting anybody.
As I wheeled out the hospital door, I noticed it was a gorgeous sunny autumn day, not too chilly, just nice, and there is a park right next to the hospital, so I thought I would enjoy the fresh air. There were plenty of paved paths that were easy to negotiate a wheelchair over even for a relative noob like me. That's when I saw him.
House was sitting on a park bench (I heard the opening riff for Aqualung in my head and chuckled to myself but didn't say anything) eating a pink cupcake. I rolled closer until I could smell the raspberry icing and see the calm expression in his big blue eyes saying "House allowing himself to be just a little bit happy" and I smiled. I don't think he was paying any attention to me at all.
That's when it happened.
A little kid ran up, grabbed his cane and took off like a bat out of hell. House flailed briefly, trying to grab it but the kid moved too fast and I manipulated the joystick and pivoted, chasing after him. I could hear House swearing loudly and I leaned on the joystick, hard. The stupid little bratty kid, stealing a cane from a disabled guy. The fucking nerve!
The kid was stupider than I thought, actually, he was sticking to the paths. I rode past a woman who said "Trey," in a rather half-assed tone of voice; I don't know if she was the kid's mom or what and I couldn't help thinking my parents would have fucking KILLED me if I'd ever pulled any crap like this, I was a little on the bratty side myself when I was a kid but not anywhere near that bad. The rage spurred me on a bit and I was just barely able to catch up to Trey or whatever his name was, he had a long section of House's cane slung over his shoulder and I grabbed it and yanked, hard.
The momentum made him fall down but I didn't feel the least bit guilty. I heard the woman who I guessed was his mom yell, "You monster!"
I thought at first she was yelling at the kid, but no, she was yelling at me!
"Fuck you, lady, your kid's a fucking bully, messing with any disabled person is bad enough but stealing from us is worse! I'm not a violent person otherwise I could use this", here I brandished the cane menacingly, " to fuck up a few ankles."
I turned and went back the way I'd come.
House smiled. "Good job, Hot Wheels." He grabbed his cane back from my outstretched arm with his right hand and then held up his left, palm out. "Gimme a cripple-five." I did.
"I couldn't have moved anywhere near that fast in one of those wheelchairs where you have to push yourself," I replied. "I don't have nummy arm muscles like you."
He looked at me like he didn't quite know how to take this.