(Dr. Seuss parody)
House gets quite bored with sniffles and sneezes,
He'd much rather look at real freaky diseases.
Normal doctors consult him when they're in a pinch,
But he gets in lousier moods than the Grinch.
The day's first clinic patient has crabs (yes it's true)
Not the kind that you eat but the kind that eat you.
He avoids all the rest, to be realistic
He doesn't consider himself masochistic.
He barely can stand to deal with the noobs
While Cuddy yells, "Will you stop ogling my boobs?!"
So he hangs out with Wilson for stories impressive
But Wilson won't stop being passive-aggressive.
I'm a fucking loonie, I know it.